The more I think I know myself, the more I learn I actually don’t know anything at all.
Especially about myself.
I am not who I think I am.
Or who I say I am.
Though I have spent this life building an identity for myself.
And convincing myself (and you) that it is me.
Who I really am can only be found in those fleeting moments I forget to uphold this identity that I have built as a wall around my true self.
But even if you witness those moments, they still cannot help to define who I am.
I am undefinable.
And every new moment brings new truth.
It adds new layers as it simultaneously peels away old ones which no longer bear relevance to my current state of being.
So if you think you know me, you will be surprised one day when I do something you deem to be ‘out of character’.
Just as I surprise myself, time and time again, at my own responses to new challenges and circumstances that appear in my life.
This picture is me today.
It is not who I was yesterday.
And I will grow and change again tomorrow.
So don’t get used to it.
I am learning not to get used to all the ideas I had about myself.
So I suggest you do too.
Most of us have very clear ideas about who we are, what we want and what we think are capable of.
This is your friendly neighbourhood reminder that you and I don’t know shit!
Life doesn’t care about the silly little identity we have tried to establish for ourselves.
And when life happens we realise we are not who we thought we were.
We certainly won’t do all the things we thought we’ll do in the hypothetical situations we imagined we’ll do them in.
We will only ever act in the NOW and anything can happen from moment to moment.
I actually feel lighter taking the pressure of upholding my identity off my shoulders.
What a heavy thing to carry around!
And most people’s get heavier as they cloak themselves with more concepts as they get older.
I want to strip them off.
I was born naked.
Born free from conventions, beliefs and bullshit.
I hope to die the same way.
But then again, I say this NOW.
Who the fuck knows what I will think, want, value or be tomorrow.
Best to just shut up and be as I am today.
So here I am my friends.
Peace out x